Knit vs. Crochet

The ongoing drama(?) of a girl torn between two obsessions with too little time.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Still sad.

I've been thinking about adopting a new kitten. One which I will successfully keep as an indoor-only cat, so help me god, if it means tethering her to a pole in the center of the house to keep her from running towards the doors. Is it too soon? I'm probably just looking for something to fill the void.
Just as a lark, I was browsing through some "free kittens!" listings, and came across a picture of a little black kitten who looked just like Mack did in his kitten-hood. I promptly burst into tears. Hell, I'm still a little sniffly. I'm surprised by how sad something like this picture can still make me. I've actually been "doing well" in terms of my emotions over the past few weeks--I think about the little guy with relative frequency but haven't been getting bogged down with teariness but for one or two moments. I find myself both embarrassed at still grieving over a cat almost a month later and frustrated that I feel the constant need to justify my emotions (however private) to an invisible-omnipresent "other"--the other, of course, being the imagined judgement of society, non-"animal people", and my friends.
If I keep thinking along these lines I really WILL turn into a crazy cat lady.
A'int no one gonna tell me I caint be sad if'n I wanna.


At 7:00 PM, Anonymous Giselle said...

There is no shame in grieving for your kitten. I can't even imagine how wrecked I'm going to be when it comes time for my two kitties to go. Hang in there!


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