Transitions

Only two months away from my medical school graduation. I somehow feel obligated to write, but I’m not sure that I’m capable anymore of putting my thoughts, my emotions to paper (or screen).
Our exit course has been so centered around the doctor-patient relationship, the on-call scenarios, preparing us for the trauma of intern year. And I, who will not be starting an intern year in July, feel left out.
Perhaps it’s just the beginning of a lifetime of feeling “left-out”. On the periphery of the human drama and tragedy and wonder—the sound and the fury that drew me to medicine even before I knew (could know) exactly what it entailed. To not feel those depths of emotion, to cry over the frustration of the alcoholic patient who left AMA (whose parents showed me the glamour-shots “before alcohol” picture in the hallway in front of her room, who I assured we would do all we could).
I think it's for the best.